for JRN 203
Lying in this grave
waiting to be saved,
i wave to those who hopped on the train.
the one that i missed as it chugged on.
So far gone, this is all wrong.
Ashes in a tomb,
no room to improve.
Buried 6 feet deep
creep in my brain
and remain at war with this pain.
Hop on now
or forever hold your peace.
A piece of relief that comes
from beneath the earth.
Your worth of life,
to ignite the fight within.
Begin to dream, redeem
your pride, don’t hide.
Don’t stand aside and let others take the ride.
Save your seat on the train.
Tickets non-refundable,
a bundle of possibilities
at your destination.
Resussitation in the lifeless,
the hopeless,
time is priceless.
Revive this ghost
make the most of this life.
Take it and show it
and know that you own it.
Take it back, stay on these tracks.
This train can’t derail,
no option to fail.
You will always prevail.
Cuz this locomotive is in motion,
it’s your motive to take action.
Get back in the game,
this is your claim to fame.
I demand your attention…
not affection, not reflection,
but the perception of my presence.
The pretense of reminiscence,
catch a glimpse of aggression
but a surge of protection
cuz i mention my insecurities.
i’m sure of these. but you-
put my mind at ease.
A promise to push my chin up
like a pin up of my fears through
the years and the tears.
It appears insincere but i swear
that it’s clear to me.
And you see these
beneath my buckling knees.
Like a brain tease that makes you greedy
to meet me, to keep me,
to seek out what completes me.
You notice the closeness
between my face and my hands
as i bury my head in the sand,
not like i planned.
but i do, and i did,
just hid to get rid
of the nausea from the
claws ya dig in my back.
Cuz i lack the ability
to believe in me
but you dont. You know
that my doubt in this world
is devout til it proves itself to me.
And when it moves me
and consumes me,
I’ll let it use me like the movies
with happy endings.
No knight in armor, just a boy
enamored
by my fragility.
But you really see
the strength in my gate,
that my fate
is what i make of it. Thanks for that.
For the continuous round of applause
though it falls on deaf ears,
not on blind eyes. now…
they’re glued on the prize
When i scan the room i see your face.
Not out of place,
like the space-time continuum
couldn’t replace, couldn’t erase
the image.
still takes my breath away…
you say you’ll stay but i know you won’t.
It’ll grow in my mind
like trying to find
the rewind on time, but i cant.
And i ask to move on,
ask to stay strong,
ask to live on.
Like the days and the nights,
not the hate and the fights,
but the love that we had.
I’m not mad, but im sound
feet on the ground, stuck.
Like my luck in the lotto
life is yet to be found…
But still i scan the room
and see your face,
and that’s okay.
This one’s for you:
When all is said and done
I wont turn to you, I wont yearn for you,
but i’ll learn from you.
Take what you gave to the grave and
churn at the thought of you.
And the scars you made me bear
wont fear what they hear
but they scream at the sight of you.
And keep my name out of their ears
for it’s insincere to be called by you.
I wont know what’s conspired by you,
never inspired by you
til now.
This one’s for me:
Cuz you’ll lie awake at night for me
cry out your eyes for me
cuz releif wont find you
and time wont bide you
a break from the thought of me.
And believe when you see me
that this smile comes easy.
Since you don’t even know me,
took what you want and disowned me
cuz you’ll never control me.
Babe, you’re the only
one here
who’s lonely.
Emotionless,
Devotion rests
on broken fists and empty smiles.
It’s been a while
since i’ve wanted
time with you.
Cuz you weren’t there
and you don’t care
to share the truth.
But youth is no excuse for you.
Selfish and rude.
But my view is skewed
cuz i’ve been screwed
one too many times by you.
You,
and your black heart.
A false start, like a poison dart.
Tear me apart
over and over again.
And in the end
we wont be friends.
And i’ll wish we had
never met. Yet, still
I have the will
to carry on.
While you’re still
livin’ for thrills
and dying young.
